Rosie Scribble

Single and pregnant

Going through a pregnancy alone can be a harrowing experience, especially if you are left with no-one to turn to. You would think in today's highly connected society that situations like this cannot possibly happen, but they do and I've been there.

If you are a single-mum-to-be or know someone that is, Gingerbread - the national charity for single parent families - has just launched an email advice pack for women who are single and pregnant. The aim of the pack is to give women free, instant access to the information they need to help them get ready for their new arrival.

The pack can be sent straight to your inbox – quickly, privately and completely free – by going to www.gingerbread.org.uk/emailadvice.aspx and entering your email address.

Not all of it will be relevant in all circumstances but the information is there nevertheless and could prove invaluable to those unsure about issues such as finance, child maintenance, contact arrangements and parents’ rights.

On a more personal note, it is very possible to survive pregnancy as a single person and go on to have a wonderful relationship with your child. I've been there too.

Further advice packs and factsheets are also available covering a range of subjects from www.gingerbread.org.uk.

Giveaway: Tickets to the Baby Show at Birmingham’s NEC

This May The Baby Show returns to Birmingham’s NEC to offer must have products, free expert advice and an unrivalled shopping experience for parents and parents-to-be.

The Baby Show with Prima Baby and Fisher-Price takes place from 20-22 May 2011 and I have five pairs of tickets to giveaway.

About the Baby Show

In just one day visitors can shop for everything they need from the widest range of products including all the baby brands mums love, enjoying savings on 1000s of must have baby and maternity products. New and expectant parents can try before they buy ensuring peace of mind.

World-leading experts will also be there offering complementary sessions giving out professional advice and tips. Breastfeeding specialist Clare Byam-Cook, nutrition expert Annabel Karmel and the British Red Cross will all be on hand to dish out their professional expertise. Next will also be offering maternity wear consultations.

To ensure the day is as stress free as possible there will be a number of free facilities which include the Pampers Changing Room, the Tommee Tippee Feeding Area and firm favourite amongst babies and toddlers, the Fisher-Price Crèche. Plus, there is The Emma’s Diary Shopping Drop Off, Collect by Car and Home Delivery Service so heavy bags don’t need to be carried around the show.

How to win a pair of tickets

The Baby Show takes place on 20-22 May, NEC, Birmingham.

I have five pairs of tickets to giveaway, which are valid on any day.

To enter the giveaway, simply leave a comment on this blog.

One entry per person.

Open to UK residents only.

The giveaway closes at midnight on Wednesday 13th April.

Winners will be selected at random and announced on this post on Friday 15th April. I'll also be in touch by email.

Responsibility for despatching the winning tickets lies with the promoters Idea Generation.

Tickets for The Baby Show are also available from the box office on 0871 231 0844 or online at thebabyshow.co.uk.

I have not received any payment for running this giveaway. Not a sausage. Not even half eaten pack of jelly babies.

Update: This giveaway is now closed. Congratulations to Ellie, Alex, Teannie Binns, Lucy Morris and Gen who have each won a pair of tickets to the show.

The Secret Diary of a New Mum Aged 43¼ by Cari Rosen

It’s not every day that an author contacts you on twitter and asks if you would like to review their new book, so I was delighted when Cari Rosen did exactly that.

It wasn’t until The Secret Diary of a New Mum Aged 43¼ arrived that I really knew what the book was about and I’ll admit that I hesitated when I saw it was about life as a new mum. It’s over seven years since I was in that situation. With the baby years long behind me, it isn’t a topic I generally read about.

Thankfully the publishers sent me a free copy or I would never have picked up Cari’s book; I would have missed out on the funniest book I have read in years.

The Secret Diary of a New Mum Aged 43¼ is the real life story of Cari Rosen’s journey into motherhood at the age of 42. It is witty, insightful, and a fabulous read.

You don’t have to be a new mum to enjoy it; everyone will relate to the rollercoaster ride of parenthood. There are plenty of funny anecdotes and laugh out loud moments.

… it appears that my daughter is the only newborn on the ward not named after a footballer, a car or a booze-induced whim. In order that she should not be left out, I suggest to my husband that we switch to Cantona-Cabriolet…

Cari also talks honestly about being an older mum and society’s expectations and assumptions of women who enter motherhood aged 35 and over.

Why not shout from the rooftops, ‘I am old, I am old. I should be knitting for my grandchildren?’

But aside from the technicality that I can’t knit, the fact remains that I am sitting here in my own right, in the pregnancy wing of a busy London hospital. In all my 40-something glory, I am huffing and puffing among mothers-to-be who are young enough to be my daughters, while the medical staff puzzle over whether to admit me to maternity or geriatrics.

From successful TV producer to inexperienced parent, Cari Rosen’s journey’s is hilarious, gripping and brilliantly written. I’d highly recommend it.

The Secret Diary of a New Mum Aged 43¼ by Cari Rosen is published by Vermilion priced £11.99

Due date

 
It was the heat wave of 2003, and when I awoke the significance of the day registered at once.  My due date. The day that had been etched on my mind for almost nine months. It was finally here. Yet I was feeling surprisingly calm.

Convenient then that I was already at the hospital. I’d been there for two days, pacing the corridors, trying to snatch as much sleep as I could. There would be no journey to make, no last minute panic, no hospital dash, which was nice.

It meant I could simply stroll over to the nurses’ station and ask: “Should I have a bath before the birth or after?”

It seemed a sensible question at the time. Odd then that I should find the nurse looking at me with an expression of concern, possibly intrigue. But I needed an answer so I returned her you-look-a-little-confused gaze, and waited.

“No love,” she said finally, “you had your baby two days ago.”

“Oh.” I said patting my very obvious bump.

I glanced across at the maternity ward, full of new mums with cots next to their beds. But next to my bed there was nothing, not even an empty cot.

Then the realisation hit me – the little girl who frequently runs late in the mornings, and who has absolutely no sense of time-keeping, had arrived two days early. She was safe and well but being monitored in Special Care, just as a precaution, which was why she was not with me.

I didn’t have to go through it all again.

Which meant I could have that bath.

 
This was my due date seven years ago written for Josie’s Writing Workshop. The prompt – Due date, which I have taken literally!

Photo credit

Where risky home births are the only option

From the district hospital in Bertoua, I travelled with the Pampers and UNICEF team to Lembe village a short distance away and home to 240 villagers, the majority of whom were children.

It was a village I found to be particularly desolate and bleak and many of the children looked quite despondent. Yet many of the villagers came out to greet us and sang an upbeat song about UNICEF and tetanus. Alex, one of our UNICEF representatives from the UK, was presented with a bouquet of flowers.

The fact that we were made so welcome in Lembe village, and in all the villages we visited during our time in Cameroon, was due to the very strong links UNICEF has established with these communities. As a result the villagers were happy to welcome us into their homes and talk openly to us about their lives.

The first person we interviewed was Mr Desire Andono, a community mobiliser. Without television or other forms of mass media, the villagers relied on mobilisers like Mr Desire to educate or ‘sensitise’ them about health issues such as tetanus. An important part of any mass maternal and newborn tetanus elimination campaign is explaining to women the importance of being vaccinated as well as providing practical information about where they can receive their tetanus vaccines.

Mr Desire spoke with great enthusiasm about his presenting role at the local radio station and his weekly programme ‘Let’s talk about health.’ He was very keen to own a dictaphone so he could record locals for his show. As he explained this I was suddenly very aware of the dictaphone I had in my hand, something I had picked off the shelf shortly before the trip on the off-chance I might need it. I had given little consideration to the cost. How different the situation is in Cameroon. For Mr Desire it would cost him two months’ wages, yet he had a far greater need for it than me.

We then met Madame Meling Jacqueline, aged 20, who was nine months pregnant and due to give birth any day. As she spoke to us in her home about her wish to give birth in the district hospital, where conditions had shocked me that morning, I wondered what sort of birth lay ahead for her and whether she and her child would survive. She was waiting to receive the US$6 she needed to give birth in hospital from her sister. If the money did not arrive, she would have no option but to give birth at home with the assistance of a Traditional Birth Attendant (TBA). TBAs have experience of delivering babies but very basic training, if any at all, and limited resources.

When we were introduced to the village TBA, Madame Biwole Biscotine, later that afternoon, I was shocked to see that her ‘delivery kit’ consisted of just a plastic apron and a plastic mat. Women gave birth in her kitchen and were required to bring their own kit, including gloves. If they were not able to bring their own gloves then she would deliver the baby with her bare hands.

Despite her limited training, Madame Biscotine did have a comprehensive understanding of maternal and newborn tetanus. She understood that it could be contracted during childbirth as a result of unhygienic birthing practices, such as cutting the umbilical cord with unsterile instruments or treating it with contaminated dressings, and also how it could be prevented with vaccinations and hygienic birthing practices.

So despite the remote locations, the lack of education, and the poverty, the message about tetanus was getting through to these communities. The maternal and newborn tetanus elimination campaign in Cameroon, that money from Pampers and UNICEF was helping to fund, was proving successful and I left the village feeling a little more hopeful for the generations of villagers and their children living there.