Rosie Scribble

Becoming a good enough mum, eventually

It was a shock to find myself as a single mum with a newborn baby. It wasn’t part of life’s plan, it’s not as it should be, but it was our reality.

And I nearly blew it.

I had no idea what to do with a brand new baby and no maternal instinct kicked it to help me find my way through the minefield I suddenly found myself in. Whilst new motherhood should be one of the best times of your lives, it isn’t for many and it wasn’t for me.

It was tough going and for a while my ability to be an adequate mother was questioned, quite rightly, because I’d struggled to look after myself in the past. With the strain of parenting alone I fared no better. In fact, I did spectacularly badly.

With my health failing, I found myself under the watchful gaze of professionals. My biggest fear was that I would have no option but to consider adoption.

But I wanted my child with me despite my on-going struggles and the fact I knew I had a lot to learn when it came to caring for a child.

It took two years for me to really get my act together and by the skin of my teeth IJ wasn’t put up for adoption. We got through it but I came very close to losing her and I will never forget that. It taught me a lot and I hold her even tighter as a result.

Now, thanks to a lot of advice and support and my sheer bloody-mindedness to finally get this right no matter what, we are a fabulous little team.

I finally became a good enough mum.

But IJ will tell you I’m the best mum in the world and I’m not going to argue with that.

Together we did it. We got though the horrible stuff and came out the other side happier, healthier and facing an exciting future. Together.

The morale of this very long story cut short for the purpose of a blog post is that if I can do it anyone can. Trust me on that one.

This week’s gallery theme is: Mother love.

Now go off and love yourself just that little bit more. You’re doing a great job.

Help save 1000 mums' lives this Mother's Day

 
UNICEF ambassadors Ewan McGregor and Cat Deeley have launched UNICEF UK’s campaign to help save the lives of 1,000 Mums. They are calling on people across the UK to make a difference to the lives of 1,000 mums, by buying their mum a UNICEF ‘Deliver a Baby’ gift pack as their Mothers Day gift.

The aim is to sell 1,000 life-saving packs by Sunday, to highlight the number of women who will die on that day, and everyday, due to complications in pregnancy and childbirth.

Although great progress has been made in reducing maternal mortality, childbirth  remains one of the leading causes of death amongst women in the developing world. Due to a lack of access to basic medical care and support, often stemming from poverty, nearly 1,000 mums die each and everyday as a result of pregnancy related complications.

I am one of the bloggers involved in this campaign. To help publicise these figures, we are focusing on six of the countries around the world with the highest maternal mortality rates in the world. I am looking at Afghanistan.

Spotlight on Afghanistan

Afghanistan is a landlocked and mountainous country in south-central Asia. It is bordered by Pakistan in the south and east and Iran in the west. Since the late 1970s, Afghanistan has experienced a continuous state of war. The country is currently being rebuilt slowly with support from the international community while dealing with the Taliban insurgency and political problems.

It has the highest rate of maternal mortality in the world, with 1 in every 11 women at risk of dying during pregnancy or child birth.

Limited access to health facilities has been a major obstacle for women in the region and the cost of public transportation, the risks of travelling while pregnant and the prevailing security situation all discourage women from seeking proper prenatal care, leaving them extremely vulnerable if they develop complications during their pregnancy or birth. 

We can help save lives

We can help save lives by buying a UNICEF inspired 'Deliver a Baby' pack. Priced at £23, each pack contains all the equipment necessary for the safe delivery of one baby, including medicines and delivery, sterilisation and resuscitation equipment.

Each UNICEF Inspired Gift purchase comes complete with an exclusive Gift Card, which can be personalised and delivered to your choice of UK postal address. Your 'Deliver a Baby' pack will be delivered directly to a vulnerable mother and her baby across the world. 

Please buy one today by visiting the UNICEF shop.

We can help save lives this Mother’s Day.

This is not a sponsored post. I am a supporter of  UNICEF.

Lend your social media status to an African mother

When AMREF – Africa’s leading health development charity - offered to send me a sample birthing kit to show the bare minimum needed to deliver a baby safety, I had imagined a rather large parcel arriving on my doorstep. In fact it turned out to be, literally, a matchbox.

The matchbox contained a piece of plastic sheeting to lay on the floor, a tiny bar of soap and cotton wool for hygiene, a piece of string to tie the umbilical cord, and a razor blade with some matches to sterilise it.

That is the bare minimum needed to deliver a baby safely. Equipped with these, the birth attendants in Africa, trained by AMREF, is the key to saving a mother’s life and that of her child.

The issue of childbirth and maternal well-being in the developing world is a focus for many charities this Mother’s Day. AMREF are keen to raise awareness of the difficulties many women face in poorest communities of Africa. Every year 280,000 mothers die unnecessarily in pregnancy and childbirth because they lack basic medical care. AMREF is working to ensure no woman dies while giving life.

AMREF, together with the creative agency BBH, has created a simple way to raise awareness and even help save lives – the ‘Status of Africa: Mother’s Day’ campaign. Their application allows users to choose a real African mother or midwife AMREF works with, to share their Facebook status or Twitter account with for 5 days. The app then automatically updates their status twice a day with their chosen African mother or midwife.

The voices of these women – at the heart of their communities - is rarely heard. By lending your social media status you can provide them with a mouthpiece to tell people what it’s really like to be a mother in Africa.

AMREF is asking people to donate their Facebook status, profile picture or Twitter stream to AMREF for Mother’s Day, 3rd April 2011. You can also raise awareness by tweeting about the campaign and including the hashtag #StatusofAfrica, to support AMREF’s aim to train more midwives in Africa who will ultimately save many lives.

You can donate your status by following the instructions on their Facebook landing page. Simply visit: http://apps.facebook.com/statusofafrica/

First (swear) words

Twenty years ago (on second thoughts, make that thirty), as a young primary school child I discovered that if you stick two fingers up in the air you get a huge reaction from adults. I’d learnt my first offensive gesture, so that made me a grown-up, aged seven, I believed.

My mother thought it was neither big nor clever but I thought it was hilarious. The gesture received a mixed reaction from adults but I loved the fact it got a reaction. Genius.

However …

Now I have my own seven-year-old daughter and she is doing exactly the same thing.

I have told her it is neither big nor clever. She thinks it’s hilarious, and I suspect she believes she is a grown-up now too.

So we have come full circle.

Except …

Today there has been another development. She has arrived home from school with ‘new knowledge’. She now knows there is a very naughty word that only very naughty people say. It is called the F-word.

She isn’t going to use it, she has reassured me. She is just letting me know that she knows it. So she is now even more grown-up than she was yesterday, still aged seven.

This is fine.

There is no major cause for concern.

All I will say is this: come back Disney fairy princesses, all is forgiven.

Photo credit.

Because mums are brilliant

The only problem with home deliveries if you have to be at home when they arrive, and I wasn’t when Interflora tried to deliver this stunning bouquet, but all was not lost.

Incredibly just ten minutes after calling Interflora, the flowers were urgently rushed round to me by a lovely delivery man who, bless him, had tried to deliver them to my address four times.

So I was impressed with their service and the flowers look gorgeous. Alas, they are not from a secret admirer but a gift from Interflora in the run-up to Mother’s Day.

I’ve been invited to nominate another blogger to receive some flowers too so - without hesitation  - I am nominating Alana at Mummy Mania*. Alana has had a dreadful time recently. Four days after giving birth to her baby daughter Ruby, her own mum suffered a catastrophic stroke and life for the whole family changed forever.

So Mother's Day will be bittersweet for them this year.  The bouquet is to let Alana know I'm thinking of her.

*Interflora will be in touch shortly to arrange delivery!