Rosie Scribble

Moving forward

With a house move on the cards in the not too distant future, I've been considering our options. Without doubt, the fact that I don't drive does limit where we can live. By now I'd expected to be looking at cars and taking the time to compare car insurance, but as yet it is not to be.

A slight crisis of confidence coupled with the uncertainty that comes with moving house and relying on freelance work, has meant it has been several months since I last had a driving lesson.

And I haven’t found learning to drive, as a mother, particularly easy. I can’t help but see children and potential danger everywhere, and at the back of my mind is the fact that when I do pass my test I’ll have a child in the car with me. That feels like an overwhelming responsibility. 

End of an era

There’s something quite therapeutic about de-cluttering and selecting those items that were once much loved but are now no longer needed. 

We’re downsizing which has meant a weekend of going through boxes of toys and games and deciding which can be put into charity bags and which are long past their sell-by date.

Except there’s a very obvious change from the last time I de-cluttered our house.

Change

We're packing up and heading off, although I don't know exactly where and I don't know exactly when. All I do know is that I don't like the weight of uncertainty that is bearing down on my shoulders right now.

The house we have rented for six years is being put on the market, and for good reason. Not immediately but certainly in the immediate future. So it's time to move on and find somewhere new. The time is right for a fresh start and a new home but it’s a daunting prospect nevertheless.

Facing up to reality

Over the past couple of weeks things have been changing in our little household as the reality of our future as a single parent family starts to hit home. The main issue is that we plan to relocate in the near future, but the fact that we have only have my income severely restricts any mortgage I will be able to secure and, consequently, where in the country we can live.

That would not be a problem if I did not have my heart set on moving back to the South where I have spent most of my adult life.

I have been considering our options for a while and planning where we can move to when the time is right. I need better access to the job market and somewhere where I feel at home. Of course there are are the usual requirements of good schools and a nice environment to bring up a child.

All these factors will have to be weighed up as part of the decision-making process, but it a process I have to make on my own. Already this has resulted in many sleepless nights.

I had wanted to move back South. I like it there and it is home to many of our good friends. I wasn't looking for anything grand, nothing even remotely extravagant but certainly with transport links to London.

But the reality is that I have been living in a dream world. Such a move simply isn't possible. The North-South property divide is just too great. Returning to the South and living within reach of the type of work that interests me most, is beyond our reach.

And I feel a little grief stricken.

I simply wanted to return to the place I felt at home. We shall just have to make home somewhere else. But adjusting to that fact will take a little time.

Photo credit:onda