Rosie Scribble

The effects of advertisements on our children

I have a confident, cheeky, happy eight-year-old daughter who beamed with pride as she stood in front of the whole school and demonstrated her spelling skills during her recent Year 4 assembly.

She’s growing up, changing, maturing and the teenage years are looming in front of us, approaching faster than I would like.

I don’t want to see that confidence undermined or eroded away. I don’t want her questioning her appearance, her size, her value in this world.

With the increasing number of advertisements targeting her as she grows older, I question how I can ever counteract the powerful messages they are sending out. Messages that are telling her she needs to be perfect when she’s exactly right as she is.

This video posted by Killers of Confidence looks at the messages being given out by the hundreds of advertisements that target young people and the effect they can have on their image and self-esteem. 

Advertisements that tell girls they should be tall, skinny, tanned, pretty and rich. Advertisements that tell boys they should be tall, dark, handsome, tough, muscular and protective. Advertisements that promote perfection, as if it is achievable, as if it is the only thing that matters in life, as if our children need to change who they are and the people they are growing up to be.

The video is over a year old but the message is just as powerful, and just as necessary.

It takes confidence, determination, drive and a strong sense of self-belief to override these messages. It shouldn’t be that way. Let children be themselves and be whoever they want to be.

This post is inspired by Kat’s post: Dear So and So – Miss Respresentation.

Book review: Where has my little girl gone? By Tanith Carey

Like many parents, the widespread availability of online pornography, the early sexualisation of children and the rise in eating disorders in young people are all areas that concern me greatly. I’m keen to keep my daughter protected without stifling her and I’m committed to giving her the tools to go out into the world prepared and educated so that she can lead the fullest life possible.  I then want her to pass the same information on to her own daughters.

Tanith Carey’s new book Where Has My Little Girl Gone? has proved an excellent source of information in my efforts to get it right for my daughter and help prevent many of the problems I know children can experience - problems that can impact on their lives late into adulthood.

Help for families coping with anorexia

With the recent news reports that eating disorders in the UK are affecting a larger number of young children than ever before, I'm re-posting this article which originally appeared on the Brit Mums blog back in September last year.

While labelling children as young as five with eating disorders like anorexia might not actually be particularly helpful, clearly there are many children experiencing eating problems who need help and support, as do their families.

For families trying to cope with anorexia, here is some information based on my own experiences and also on the research I undertook when writing my book Anorexics on Anorexia, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Mummy, sad people don't eat

Sitting down for dinner this evening IJ remarked that sad people do not eat.

It threw me off kilter and set alarms bells ringing. Immediately I knew we needed to have a conversation I’d put off for some time; a conversation we should have had well before now, because children are incredibly perceptive. And when there are only two people in one household, the behaviour of each party rarely goes unnoticed.

But in the past I had wimped out and brushed the subject of food and eating under the carpet. The pair of us talk about anything and everything, and have done for some time, but when it comes my eating habits at least, I’ve haven’t been quite so open.

Anorexia is not a word a seven year old needs to know. On the whole it is part of my past – a large part of my part - and something I know we will discuss in detail one day, but I have been kidding myself about the number of times over the last few years when I have slipped back, if only for a day or two, and assumed she has not noticed.

I haven’t wanted to burden her with adult issues she is not emotionally equipped to handle but by not saying anything it has led her to believe that sad people don’t eat. Without realising it I have given her permission not to eat when she is sad too, which is a dangerous thought pattern for any child to be developing.

So we’ve had a talk about how people cope when they are sad. The words ‘eating disorder’ have not been used but she now understands that some people eat more when they are sad, some people eat less and for others their eating isn’t affected at all. I’ve explained that the important thing is to say how you feel rather than focusing on food or anything else.

It might be a little premature to be talking about relationships with food but the outcome of not talking, in our case, could have been far worse.

I do worry for girls (and boys) growing up in today’s society. I hope IJ doesn’t feel the pressure too much to be thin. Today has proved a reminder to me to continue having these conversations with her about life and growing up, and to remember I’m her most influential role model.

Whatever I do, she will do too, if she wants to. Some days there’s no harm in being reminded of that.

If you are a family coping with anorexia, my Brit Mums article offers 14 tips I hope will help.

Photo credit.

Why thinness isn't everything

This is a serious post with a serious message. I write posts like this once in a while; they usually result from a combination of factors, and this post is no exception.

The subject is dieting and eating disorders. Click away now if it’s not for you.

Recently I was looking back over my posts for 2010. Exactly one year ago I was writing about the dangers of pro-anorexia websites, and in July about the extent to which images are air-brushed to create completely unattainable images that we, and our children, are exposed to on a regular basis.

Many of us aspire to look like that, or have done in the past, yet they are not real. That’s something I’ll be telling my daughter as soon as she is old enough to understand. The last thing I want is for her to think that thin is beautiful and that striving to be thin should be of any importance to her, because it isn’t. There is more to life.

The last thing I want is for her to experience an eating disorder, like I did.

I agree with the points made in Tara’s post Do you need to be skinny to be successful? – that  the mantra of many these days still seems to be ‘You can never be too rich, or too skinny.’ I thought – hoped - the world had moved on from skinniness being perceived as a sign of success, but in reality it hasn’t, which is a great shame.

Recently I’ve seen numerous adverts on the internet telling me how I can lose seven pounds in as many days, and a leading supermarket emailed me today to tell me about their new diet service. I’m all for healthy eating and healthy living; my concern is that the message, as Tara’s post discusses, does seem to be that thinness is everything. And it’s not.

There are two stars on our Christmas tree – one for Sally and one for Tash. They were both close friends who died from Anorexia. We remember them at Christmas. I met them when we were all in hospital together being treated for the same illness. Out of the three of us, I am the only one who survived.

Last week the ‘No Anorexia’ model Isabelle Caro died aged 28.

So thinness isn’t everything, and those that are in the best position to tell you about life at a low weight are no longer living.

I first posted this video in February last year… seeing is believing, or is it? It is worth posting again here and two minutes of your time.