Rosie Scribble

Book review: Where has my little girl gone? By Tanith Carey

Like many parents, the widespread availability of online pornography, the early sexualisation of children and the rise in eating disorders in young people are all areas that concern me greatly. I’m keen to keep my daughter protected without stifling her and I’m committed to giving her the tools to go out into the world prepared and educated so that she can lead the fullest life possible.  I then want her to pass the same information on to her own daughters.

Tanith Carey’s new book Where Has My Little Girl Gone? has proved an excellent source of information in my efforts to get it right for my daughter and help prevent many of the problems I know children can experience - problems that can impact on their lives late into adulthood.

Help for families coping with anorexia

With the recent news reports that eating disorders in the UK are affecting a larger number of young children than ever before, I'm re-posting this article which originally appeared on the Brit Mums blog back in September last year.

While labelling children as young as five with eating disorders like anorexia might not actually be particularly helpful, clearly there are many children experiencing eating problems who need help and support, as do their families.

For families trying to cope with anorexia, here is some information based on my own experiences and also on the research I undertook when writing my book Anorexics on Anorexia, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

South Sudan: building a country brick by brick

This weekend the creation of South Sudan – the world’s newest country – was met with jubilation in the streets of its capital Juba, where thousands of South Sudanese celebrated their long-awaited separation from the north after decades of brutal civil war.

Yet the world’s 193rd country begins its life facing immense challenges. The Republic of South Sudan will be one of the poorest countries in the world and one of the worst places to live on earth, especially for women and children.

Decades of civil war have left South Sudan devastated, without infrastructure, with no proper government and with some of the worst health statistics in the world*:

• South Sudan has the highest infant mortality rate in the world – 102 deaths per 1000 live births
• It has the highest maternal mortality rate in the world – 2054 deaths per 100,000 live births
• A woman in South Sudan has a one in six chance of dying during the course of her lifetime from complications during pregnancy or delivery
• A 15 year-old girl has more chance of dying in childbirth than completing school.

Thousands of South Sudanese, who fled during the height of the conflict, are now returning to their homeland with hope of a better future. Yet this sudden influx is crippling the already fragile infrastructure and placing a huge strain on resources which are already severely limited.

Despite the 2005 peace agreement, which helped secure South Sudan’s independence, the region still remains vulnerable to regular and devastating attacks from the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) who are destroying villages and abducting children on a weekly basis. Boys as young as nine are being recruited as servants. By the time they reach 11 they are armed with guns and working as child soldiers, many of whom are instructed to kill members of their own family. Girls are abducted and used as sex slaves.

On the eve of South Sudan’s independence I met Martin Bell, an ambassador for UNICEF, who travelled to South Sudan in March to investigate the current state of the region.  He remained hopeful for a country he acknowledged faced a difficult journey ahead. “A new country has to be a moment of hope,” he said. “South Sudan is the victim of a long war, and war stops development. This country needs intensive care and it needs our help.”

Despite the obvious challenges South Sudan faces, there is real hope that this country can develop and thrive. “Every penny donated will make a difference to this country,” Bell said. “We are building it brick by brick.”

Anthony Lake, UNICEF Executive Director, states that: “ … children who have known only war now have a chance to know peace.  We must not fail them.”

Children of South Sudan urgently need our help now. To support UNICEF’s child survival projects in South Sudan text ‘SUDAN’ to 70007 or go to www.unicef.org.uk/southsudanappeal

* Source: UNICEF

Reflecting on Israel

Israel is complicated and complex. Spending just six short days in the country would always mean there were places we did not visit, people we did not meet; people with stories to tell who perhaps desperately needed to be heard. We were only ever going to get a small snapshot of Israeli life. We would never get the full rounded picture; there would always be missing pieces to its complex jigsaw.

Yet the purpose of our trip was not political and I am not a political blogger. While issues of conflict and military service did not go unmentioned during our trip, I am not in a position to pass comment on a situation too complex for me to fully understand. Except to say I could feel the tension at times and it does seem hugely important to acknowledge that the relative wealth, opportunity and love of life evident in many parts of Israel we visited, will not be enjoyed by all.

Nevertheless, my perceptions of Israel have dramatically changed. It was not a country I had ever considered visiting; I would not have travelled there had it not been for the invitation from Kinetis. I had perceived Israel as unsafe, underdeveloped and with such a dominant military presence that it would make travel intimidating and visitors unwelcome. I certainly did not consider it a place I would ever want to take my family.

Yet Israel exceeded all expectations. The people we met were extremely warm and welcoming, my fears about a country swarming with guns were unfounded and the tight security at airports in both Heathrow and Tel Aviv actually felt reassuring rather than threatening.

Having imagined a war-torn country riddling with army checkpoints, Tel Aviv turned out to be anything but. It is, cosmopolitan, full of trendy bars, designer boutiques and, it has to be said, beautiful people.  The desert was break-taking and Jerusalem moving, spiritual and steeped in history and archaeological treasures.

I will take a lot away from this trip. Not just an new-found love of food, an interest in relaxation following our visit to Shari Arison’s Essence of Life, and a renewed interest in geography and environmentalism following our visit to the Dead Sea, but also a determination to move forward in life, in a direction of my choosing, having been inspired by many of the incredible women we met during our time there.

Women like Hagit Neeman Gorny who used her experience as a mother of four to design and produce a range of high-end diaper bags; Zoe Lasri, a mother of two, who set up a website for kids’ activities that she runs from home; and Ruti Arazi who, after discovering a website that designed chocolate bouquets, went on to establish her own candy bouquet company Zer Matok.

Also Tamar Hadar and Efrat Adiv who created the A Be-See-Do children’s exhibition “Adventures in Hebrewland” after noticing that Israel lacked such a facility. It is home to an impressive range of interactive games and exhibits, some of which help children to learn sign language and also gain an understanding of the braille alphabet.

And our host Joanna Landau, the founder and executive director of Kinetis, whose family are the inspiration behind the Daniel Rowing Centre, set up in memory of Joanna’s late brother Daniel, which now offers world-class sporting facilities.

These are just a small selection of entrepreneurial women we met during our visit, all mums in business, with vision, ambition and the desire to give something back.

We saw the best Israel has to offer in a trip which turned out to be moving, emotional, exciting and an incredible adventure. I would return to Israel without hesitation, and I would take my whole family with me. I found it a warm and welcoming country with a positive vibe and a love of life: innovative, creative and inspiring.

I sincerely hope that these positive qualities, together with the strong sense of national pride that exists in Israel, will enable the country to move towards establishing peace in the lifetime of the children and families we met and those we did not.

A huge thank you goes to Kinetis who covered the cost of my trip, to Joanna and Adi and their fabulous team. Thanks also to my amazing travelling companions who were great company, who laughed with me, cried with me and were an absolutely pleasure to spend time with: Exmoor Jane, Sally Whittle, Blog de Madre and Accidental Mente. And also to Susie Newday who joined us on our incredible journey, baked us cookies and reminded us to apply sunscreen. Thanks to all of you, for everything, always.

Jerusalem: a city of contrasts

Largely as a result of my family’s Catholic connections, the one place friends locally are keen to hear about, following my recent trip, is Jerusalem. 

Our visit was brief and it is difficult to sum up a place where the most striking aspect was the atmosphere. It is a city where Christians, Muslims and Jews meet; where worshippers, pilgrims and sightseers can be found mixing amongst each other in the historical sites of the Old City, enjoying their own personal relationship with religion in a place where few could leave untouched by its strong sense of spirituality and prayer.

Not only is Jerusalem a place of pilgrimage, it is also a tourist attraction. So I had expected Old Jerusalem, the home of so many biblical landmarks, to have become over-commercialised. In fact it hadn’t. It was more moving than I had expected and there was a distinct aura of calm. As visitors walked round the various landmarks, they did so with an obvious respect for its historical and religious significance, despite the fact they would not have always shared the same religious views.

There did seem a sense of peace and mutual respect. Yet Jerusalem is a hotly contested area and a short distance from the Western Wall, viewed by many as the holiest place on Earth, is the a dividing wall that marks the edge of the conflict region between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Sad that such a spiritual city, renowned as a place of pilgrimage and religious retreat is also known for its conflict.

To those who have asked I would recommend a visit. Just as any visit to Israel would not be complete with a visit to Jerusalem, I would also suggest that any visit to Jerusalem would not be complete without a visit to the fabulous Mahane Yehuda Market, a visit to the Biblical Zoo, and the opportunity dine on one of Jerusalem’s sort-after restaurants. We visited the impressive Machneyuda restaurant, the highlight of which was a three-tiered dessert platter with chocolate mousse, cheesecake and banana cake, bit I digress.

Naturally, as would be the case with travel to any area where tension exists, I would also advise caution, even though the only signs during our visit that this is not a city at peace were the young soldiers patrolling Jerusalem’s streets. It would be so nice to be in a position to re-write this post one day without having to talk of any current conflict.

My lasting thoughts of Jerusalem are that it is a city of contrasts, where old meets new and where an area that emanates peace and spirituality exists so close to one of conflict and casualty, which is a great shame. It is a stunning place to visit.

I’d like to send my thanks to fellow blogger MidlifeSinglemum who travelled from her home to meet us. Proof that blogging truly is an international pastime and one that exists across borders. It was an absolute pleasure to meet you Rachel and to visit the place you call home. I hope to return.