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September 16, 2011

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Sally

I agree. Wherever possible, I turn off the computer when I collect Flea from school and it doesn't go back on until after she's in bed. We use that time to go to the park, watch a movie, go for dinner, or just play bloody Pig Goes Pop, which apparently NEVER loses its charm if you're 6.

Because life's imperfect, there are some weeks when I'm just too busy and it can't happen, but knowing I do it when I can is a good start.

Jacq

This is so true, and something I'm guilty of too.

notsupermum

A very wise decision Rosie, good luck with it. I chose to leave my well-paid job when I became a single parent due to the very long hours involved. Everyday I would get home from work late and had only a small amount of time with them each day, but even that time was spent doing housework, cooking and so on.

I decided I needed to invest the time with my daughters when they were young, as that's time I can never get back. I don't regret that decision and even though we have struggled financially from time to time, I can look back and say hand on heart it was the best decision I ever made.

IJ will really enjoy that extra time with you, and you with her xx

HelpfulMum

This is very true. I realised recently when my phone was broken, just how much I use it. The phone is now banned at the dinner table, and until the children are in bed.

Midlife Singlemum

As I write this DD is watching a dvd, in the same room but essentially on her own. You are 100% right. I not only hear you but am resolving to do the same. Thank you, good luck with your resolve and have fun with IJ. xxx

The Mad House

I have been trying to make a real effort to be present with the boys when they are home from school and we have weekend time too. I wrote about the report this week too

Emma

I too shall aim to do this in the morning before the school run and work. Very inspired to give it a good go from your post here.

Bek@WeAreWildThings

I think it's great that you've decided to spend more quality time with IJ. I find that I spend a lot of time with my son, but the amount of time I actually spend playing with him is limited. I try to keep the computer off in the day but I'm often on my iPhone, and distracted by trying to do household chores - I need to organise my time better so I can concentrate on him when we are at home more. I hope things go well with IJ, I bet she'll love spending more time with you. :)

Bod for tea

Good call Rosie. I've been writing blog/life balance for the Notes from Home Friday Carnival (you joining in btw?) and I must admit that I do switch off the laptop when DD is awake and only have it on when she is asleep. The smartphone is on but I really try to ignore it and focus on having fun. Being present in the moment is such a small thing but they know when you're really there, and when you're not. We have an 8 o'clock curfew for the web too, but that's another story...

Ali

I got up while everyone was sleeping to catch up with some blogs etc but now the house it waking so....But quickly as I feel strongly about this.

Our children need us and the time we invest will be paid back time and time again, after all we did choose to be parents.

I see the effect it has on my daughters(12)friends(ish)that parents think they hit a certain age and they think that the children don't want to be with them. Yes it changes as they get older but you grow with your children too.

Just because the child is old enough to have a front door key doesn't mean they like being home alone!

So important to have fun together and to talk, I went through my teenagers years with a brilliant relationship with my Mum, I was also a 'cool' teenager.

Right that is my time up!!! x

Susanna

I've been thinking about doing the same thing. Perhaps we should all have a badge that says "offline until bedtime"

jfb57

I'm going to take this up to mainly because I spend too much time on the blasted things! I have found the off switch!! Thanks Rosie!

Rosie Scribble

Sally, I'm planning to do the same. While I've got the time available, it makes sense to log off and visit the park, go out for dinner and really enjoy our time together. I know our situation will change in the not-too-distant future and I might not be around to pick up IJ from school, but while I am it would be tragic to waste it.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Rachel. It is hard to be with your child all the time so I wouldn't worry about DD watching a dvd while you're in the room with her. It can be exhausting as a single parent. I think it's about getting the balance right and I know I was guily of not spending enough time with IJ when I could.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Jacq, I find the lure of the Internet very hard to resist at times.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Notsupermum. I'm very aware than my plan for the future is to work full-time which of course will mean I'll be relying on childcare a lot more. So it makes sense for me to spend this time with IJ while I still have it. Like you say, I won't get that time back again.

Having said that, since logging off the computer IJ has logged back on and has been busy playing Club Penguin while I twiddle my thumbs!

Rosie Scribble

I travelled to London recently and forgot to take my phone with me. I was completely lost without it. It made me realise how much I use it too. It's not put on silent a lot more and banned at dinner time too.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Jen. I read your post and thought it was excellent. I agree with your point that it is hard for parents to manage on one income these days, especially in the south. I'll support anything that means one parent can stay at home with their child. Not everyone would want that option but it would be nice if it was available to more.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Emma. Since reading your comment I've decided to keep my phone off before the school run too. I'm sure that will help it be less hectic each morning.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Bek. I could relate to all of your comment. My phone usage has definitely increased since getting an iphone since I can access everything so easily. I've found myself glued to it and checking the internet even when I've logged off my computer. And like you, although I do spend a lot of time with my daughter, as it's just the two of us, what's lacking is quality time. I'm trying to organise myself better too. It's a work in progress.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Bod for tea, it's being present in the moment, as you mention, that I need to work on. I've definitely become slack in getting things done in the day when my daughter is at school, so I can switch off when she's at home.

I've also become a little bit addicted to my iphone but I'll make a conscious effort to put it aside. Thanks for telling me about the carnival at Notes from Home. I'll take a look.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Ali, I like your point about growing with your child. I've heard many parents of teens say they actually need you more during those years, so I want to lay the foundations now so my daughter knows she can turn to me when she really needs me.

You're right, the time we invest will be paid back time and time again and I absolutely love that point. I am so pleased you came over and commented.

Rosie Scribble

I'm thinking "offline until bedtime" would look good on a t-shirt.

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Julia, I've found the internet and my phone have been taking up more and more of my time. Since getting an iphone I've found it impossible to put down, so I'm taking action!I've given myself a good talking to.

Strawberry Blonde

Gosh this really hit home with me and made me well up a bit. I work from home and my kids are used to me being on the laptop a lot of the time when they are around. Yesterday my little boy was poorly and I lay on the sofa cuddling him, watching 'Up' on DVD. He said 'I love lying here with you mum' and I thought to myself gosh I'm always with him, but it clearly makes a difference when I'm properly 'with' him. I check my phone way too often as well - it's a bad habit I've got into and while I want to be efficient with my work, my children are my priority and I won't have this time with them back again.

Gonna log off now & take my little boy out before we collect his sis from school.

Thank you for the wake up call.

A very humble Nic x

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