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January 24, 2011

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maddydodo

It's a tough issue and I think it's brave of you to be so open about it. Wish I knew what to say...If I was an only child I'm sure I would right now be telling you all of the many advantages...but I'm not (though I'm sure there are lots). IJ does have a cousin now though and that's a big thing - all my cousins are important to me and i suspect they would be even more so if I didn't have brothers. Plus I've always viewed my two best freinds (who I've known since i was tiny) as the sisters I never had. So 'sibling' bonds can be found and forged regardless of actual blood relationships. IJ is very lucky to have a mum who she can express herself so openly to. xxx

Metropolitan Mum

Aww, bless her. Now you made me cry, too.

cathy@nurturestore

You've reminded me to count my blessings.

We can't provide everything for our children can we? I've been an only child, with one parent, then the youngest in a family with step-siblings, then a middle child, and each experience made me who I am and gave me lots of riches. IJ is blessed to have you as her mother and although her family may be smaller than she's imagining it could be, it seems to me it's very close knit and loving, which sounds rather fabulous to me.

Catherine Cooper

Aww Rosie. That is hard. Although I'm sure there are also many advantages to being an only child - she has your undivided attention (except for everyone else in your life of course but you know what I mean!) My husband is an only child and he is honestly the most well-adjusted person I know and I wonder if that's because he never felt he had to compete with a sibling.

Rosie Scribble

Maddy, thank you. You are absolutely right - sibling bonds can be found and forged regardless of actual blood relationships and I have some very close friends who are like sisters. I'm one of four so I can see how IJ is missing out but there are so mnay positives too to being an only child with my undivided attention. I think I'll help her to focus on the new cousin she does have rather than what she doesn't. xxx

Rosie Scribble

It was a day for sad blog posts I think. Now we are off to play with paint and do silly things to lighten the mood in our house x

Rosie Scribble

Cathy, thank you for such a wonderful comment. I'm the oldest of four children so it's hard for me to imagine what it is like to be the only child in a very small house, but you're right - she does benefit from a very close knit and loving relationship and I think that will help her make all the friends she needs in the future. Thanks again x

Rosie Scribble

Catherine, thank you. It's a huge reassurance to hear it is perfectly possible for an only child to grow into a well-adjusted adult because that is exactly what I want for her. My heart does go out for her at the moment. I have two brothers and one sister and I couldn't imagine life growing up without siblings to play with (and argue with). As you rightly say though, there are huge advantages to being an only child and I suspect she has more undivided attention than most simply because it is just the two of us.

Bumbling

(((hugs)))

I know what you are feeling. I am one of 3 (the youngest - does it show?) and can't imagine being without my sisters (although one did bugger off overseas and so I see her rarely). I would have liked Moo to have had the same, but it seems unlikely.

But I do have many friends who are only children, most (but not all) would not have had it any other way. IJ's got the best start with you looking out for her, and making the most of all the advantages that being an only can give.

So long as she doesn't turn into my colleague who blames her lack of joining into the tea round on her only child syndrome ;-)

Rosie Scribble

Thanks Bumbling. It's tough isn't it. We only want the best for them so it's hard when they start asking for siblings! I'm a little more reassured now that being an only child does not have to mean will be lonely and unable to make friends. I think she does feel isolated at times, but as you say, there are many advantages to being an only child too. You'll know yourself the strong bond that develops when there are just two of you, and that's a little bit special xxx

Tara

Ak, I really feel for you Rosie.
But you know what, I know of some families of 2/3/4 kids and they aren't nearly as close as you and IJ. There is an awful lot to be said for that.
Tough times, but I know you have what it takes to get you both though this x

Marcy

That is a sad post, and it made me think, will Jess feel like that in years to come , although she is 1 of 5 the others are much older than her, her nearest sister being 7 yrs older, and though tey play nicely now, there will come a time where it will wain.

I too, am going to have to do some soul searching to overcome this issue. Thank you for this post i amy never have thought of it, until it bit my bottom .

Rosie Scribble

Thank you my friend. And that means such a lot since you've met the two of us and seen us together. It is tough but we've done tougher and we always come through, as you know xx

Rosie Scribble

Aww Marcy. She'll have the best of both worlds - you all to herself when the others are bigger and off pursuing their own interests and hobbies, but a fabulous connected family there to look after their little sis. Really, don't worry. I'm close to my sister and she's 11 years younger (she keeps reminding me!)

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