Twins can be a gorgeous blessing but bring extra demands for the parents.
DO you know anyone expecting twins or triplets?
If you do, please point them in the direction of a new free initiative which can support them and combat post natal depression.
Thank you to Rosie for letting me stop by. I’m on a blog tour don’t you know. Yesterday I stopped off at LivingwithKids. I’m taking this "journey" because it’s an awareness week, this week, called Twins, Triplets & More week and this year in particular, it’s speaking up about a subject close to my heart – helping mums with post natal depression.
The focus is on an initiative called Get Ready for Multiples:
This is a new and desperately needed initiative that will help prepare for the challenges that lie ahead.
Nearly one in five mothers of multiple births develop Post Natal Depression – that is almost double the number of mothers of singletons who experience this debilitating condition.
Until now just one in three mothers have had access to specific parent education on having a multiple birth, which is really worrying as research shows that lack of access to such classes increases mothers’ chances of developing Post Natal Depression. It does not have to be this way!
Tamba is launching a groundbreaking pre- and ante-natal initiative, ‘GET READY FOR MULTIPLES!’, which is designed to prepare local parents for the unique challenges of having a multiple birth.
The launch includes FREE and subsidised ‘survival’ classes for expectant parents, and a FREE practical guide to help parents who may be suffering from Post Natal Depression. Tamba also offers a free helpline, Twinline, on 0800 138 0509 that provides information and emotional support for parents and professionals.
I once told Miranda's story in a magazine article and on my blog.
She said: "My pregnancy had been terrible so after that, I thought I'd cope with anything. But the first seven months of my girls' lives were the worst I could imagine.
"Yet I kept quiet. I was a new mum with two lovely babies - who on earth would understand? The terrible stigma of being ill in this way meant I kept my fears and anxieties secret."
"It was all a blur at first, an emotional
rollercoaster of feeding, winding, changing. I had no sleep and my
daughters seemed to cry all the time.
"My husband wasn't much help - he was out at work all day. I found myself getting moody and snappy. I was all churned up inside.
"I sat on my bed and sobbed with my head in my hands and couldn't see a future. I felt the fact that the washing up began to pile in the sink and my hair was a mess was all down to me being a useless mum who couldn't cope.
"But whenever I thought about how I felt, it made me even worse - what the hell did I have to worry about? I felt so guilty.
"Friends have been trying for a baby for years. Here I was with what they prayed for every day, but feeling terrible, how bad was that?"Yet I thought I was hiding my depression so well. People praised me on how well I was doing, saying they didn't know how I coped.
"It was only behind closed doors that I broke down and cried. Life was hell.""I should have had help from my health visitor, but mine didn't pick up on what was happening and I was too ashamed to say anything to her.
"My wake-up call came from my family doctor. I'm afraid as so many people do, I sobbed in her surgery. But she didn't judge me. Instead she asked me to fill in a questionnaire and from there, we discussed the best way forward.
"I was prescribed anti-depressants. I really wasn't bothered about all the horror stories of side effects and getting hooked, I just wanted to feel better.
"Today, a couple of years on, I'm happy to say I do. The pills took a couple of months to work but they have helped enormously.
"I've also spoken to my husband about being there more and confide in him more about how tough looking after two young kids can be."
Miranda's story is typical. Did you know post-natal depression was more common in mothers of multiple birth children? It's not exactly rocket science to understand that more than one baby means a greater chance of becoming ill, but still many mums struggle on, thinking they are to blame.
Mums of twins or more may be affected by:
* The increased stress of the reality of looking after more than one baby.
* Anxiety over their relationship or the financial pressure.
* Added worry over poorly or premature babies.
* Feelings of isolation.
* These feelings can be made worse by postnatal exhaustion.
Tamba reports that postnatal depression is more common among mothers of multiples, even up to five years after the birth.
The charity advises midwives to emphasise the importance of obtaining extra help to parents and to find time for their own relationship in the early weeks. Support from an extended family or friends and outside agencies is essential.
Initial problems that parents may meet include:
* Isolation, due to the practical difficulties of getting out and about.
* Less time to cuddle and enjoy each baby individually.
* Guilt at not being able to give each baby equal time if one is more demanding than the other.
* Exhaustion due to frequent feeding and baby care tasks and adjusting to new family relationships
* Babies’ sleep problems
* Jealousy and behaviour problems in older siblings
* Medical problems: Complications after birth and/or separation from babies while they are in Special Care, allowing babies home at different times.
* Some mothers have experienced a difficulty in bonding with the smaller baby where there is a significant difference in their birth weights.
Health visitors can also help prevent the debilitating disease of post-natal depression taking hold by encouraging families to make practical arrangements for coping.
Tamba urges them to:
* Encourage the family to accept all help offered and to seek assistance if it is not forthcoming.
* They may be able to benefit from local colleges running childcare or nursery nurses courses who have students needing family placements.
* Or they can contact Home Start whose volunteers are ideally placed to help new multiple birth parents, especially those who also have older siblings.
* Identify the problems and discuss possible solutions - the family may be too busy with the babies to do this.
* Clinic visits can seem impossible due to lack of transport, changes in routine, lack of practical help, restrictions on prams/buggies in health centres.
* Regular home visits for several months and/or extra pairs of hands at the clinic will be welcome. Babies may be less likely to miss developmental checks and vaccinations if visited regularly at home.
* Allow adequate time for discussion at health checks. Mothers may need to share fears and feelings of guilt and those in the early stages of depression can be more easily identified.
* Advise on how to deal with problems with older siblings - e.g. transport to school/nursery, jealousy and other behaviour problems that result from feeling overwhelmed or abandoned within the family.
* Parents should be encouraged to have some quality time alone with their other children to give them their full attention.
Jill Walton, Tamba’s honorary research consultant told me when I reported on another mum's depression: "PND has a gradual onset, somewhere between two weeks and several months. Two-thirds of sufferers recover within three months, although it can last for up to a year.
Symptoms vary, and can include anxiety, despondency, tearfulness, tension, inability to cope, irritability, panic attacks, tiredness and lethargy, loss of concentration, memory and appetite, loss of interest in sex, and loss of interest in the babies. Research shows that mothers of twins are more likely to suffer than single birth mothers.
"The onset of PND may be later and it may last longer. The sheer physical demands of having to cope with two or more babies at once make a mum more prone to PND. PND in mothers of twins is largely due to insufficient support at home, and the degree of disruption that twins cause to a family situation.
So please, please if you are a mum of twins reading this, do yourself a favour and read that last bit again - the degree of disruption that twins cause. And if you know someone expecting twins or more, please tell them about Get Ready for Multiples.
Thanks for reading and thanks again Rosie.
Thanks very much for having me Rosie. I'm sorry it looks a bit long now. Phew. I hope this info may be of use to some -- if not now then in the future.
Posted by: Linda Jones | June 28, 2010 at 12:36 PM