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March 15, 2010

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Mrs M

I blog because I enjoy it. I don't put anything on there on a blog that could come back to bite me on the behind. I like to know people are reading it and it does bother me sometimes that I seem to get a lot of hits but few comments. Makes me a bit paranoid!!

If you don't enjoy it anymore, take a break from blogging for a while until you find your mojo again.

Josie

Sorry you are feeling like this :(

My biggest hang up at the moment is that everything I write, everything I do online makes me feel like I'm painting a big target on my head and I'm constantly bracing myself for criticism or a back lash of one sort of another. It's made me want to give it all up over and over but something keeps bringing me back. I guess it's because I love it. Simple as that. The pleasure it brings me, the therapy it brings me, make it worth the stress. If at any point the stress dominated my enjoyment of it I would stop, or do something different at least. Because it's supposed to be fun, that's the whole point.

I hope a break helps and that you do feel like it's worth it overall. I, for one, would miss you a lot.

Hope you feel better soon too xx

   marcy

I have home blogged for years, in the form of carryinga notebook and writning thought, poetry and events. As you know i am fairly new to this and i get fustrated, at being dumb and everyone elses Blog looks better than mine.I struggle with how much i blog and i feel i should do it more, then when i do i feel i am neglecting things at home. It is a bother so i will do it when i can, i would love to review products one day but not just yet, i have Jaboo to care for. I wish you all the luck in untangling your thoughts,and i hope i can still read your blog, I have told you i think that you are a fab mum and i am sure that in years to come when your daughter is a teen and stuggling with her own issues she will look on this and get a sense of you, and how you have tried so very hard for her.

Sally Whittle

Like Josie, I often feel as though bloggers at the moment do have targets on their backs, and blogging online does mean opening yourself up to criticism in a very visible sort of way. It's scary when I think about it, but I think that's why you have to have boundaries about what you will and won't blog about.

I wouldn't blog about certain things because I know if there was a negative response, it would devastate me, or hurt someone else, potentially.

The things I do blog about, if someone says I'm being an idiot, well, I shrug my shoulders, you can't please all the people all the time, you can only do your best.

It's a personal decision though. You have to decide what are the pros of blogging - for me, it's promoting my professional skills, meeting new people, having fun conversations with other adults which are sometimes in short supply in my life. Then you balance the downside - the risk that someone reading it won't like me and will say something mean. The risk your child will grow up and not like something you've written. Which one's most important to you, in your heart of hearts?

Life's short. Do what you like, like what you do, is my advice.

Dawn

I have blogged for so many years I don't really think about stopping it anymore. I guess I am the sort of person who writes random thoughts down. I am certainly not the sort of person to talk about their feelings so it gives me an outlet. I have only been part of the blogging community for a few months despite blogging for years. I like reading other peoples blogs. I like that connection. It would be nice to understand what they think more but it won't stop me writing.
You have to enjoy it. It shouldn't be a chore. I hope you decide to keep going. I have been reading your posts for long enough now to care what is happening in your life and it would be a shame to lose that link.

Nova

Sorry you're questioning something that I guess?? gave you a lot of pleasure once. I must admit although my blog is so very new and barely looked at I can understand why you feel that pressure. I wouldn't dare blog about my feelings on it all but it is all a bit scary.
I hope you feel better physically soon and come to a decision that makes you feel good. :0) x

NotSupermum

I go through the same sort of thing every so often, wondering about whether to delete my blog. I did have a massive delete session once about 16 months ago, when I decided to delete everything I'd ever done. On reflection I should have just hidden some of the posts, and deleted the rest.

I don't post as often as I used to, and definitely feel like I've lost a bit of my enthusiasm -but it does seem to come and go in cycles.

Hope you're feeling better soon, and maybe with a clearer head your decision will be easier.

Erica

Over the four years I've been blogging I'd say the experience has been 95% positive so I shall carry on :)

Only you can decide if it's something you want to continue with, I'd like you to carry on as I love reading your blog and are one of my favourites.

stigmum

Like you, I won't be hitting delete(having thought about doing so loads!)but then nowadays I don't even question whether it's worth blogging. I don't know who, if anyone reads it, I get barely any comments, perhaps that's the critisism, loud and clear, I'm not interesting!! What I write about isn't interesting!! I'm in my own la la land, a highly emotive arena. Everything I write is a risk, but I can no longer help myself!! My username cannot live forever, I will miss her when I have to let her go! I need her for now though. I love your blog. Write what you want and don't worry, the people who want to follow you will x

Emily O

If one day a person you don't know leaves a nasty comment or two on your blog then DON'T stress about it. They don't know you, they can't judge you and it tells you a lot about that person if they choose to criticise like that. I think you should blog about the things you want to and remember why you enjoy it. You've already said you're careful about the information you share anyway. We all put ourselves out there as bloggers. If it's a thought that really bugs you, you could resrict access to your blog for friends only. I worry about these same things too.

Dulwich Divorcee

We'd miss you so if you'd didn't blog, Rosie. Hope you feel better soon xx

English Mum

As you know, I'm feeling the same at the moment. But over the years I've occasionally felt that I could just delete the whole thing and walk away, and then it passes again. I agree, it's sometimes difficult, but I think Erica has a valid point - you need to weigh up whether overall it's a positive thing and you enjoy it, then only you can decide. Get well soon, chicken xx

English Mum

PS: I have one commenter who comes and says shitty things. I used to delete but now I leave her to it so I can laugh at her. Although it might be a man as they commented that I 'need a good seeing to'. Charming!

@goonerjamie

I sometimes feel guilty if I haven't blogged for a while, and then I get annoyed at myself for the guilt. All said and done though, I love the buzz of anticipation I get every time I press the publish button. That if nothing else keeps me coming back.

Dan

I tend to blog the superficial stuff. Very little that people could use against me, that would hurt anyhow.

In my heart I know my blog has a shelf life however. At some point I'm going to become aware one of my patients reads it, and at that point it will vanish into thin air.

Perhaps I should have been more anon, but I like being open about who I am. So a limited shelf life it will have to be.

Iota

Oh, you too, Rosie? I'm having a bit of a blogging crisis over at mine...

I think it really is just a hobby, but it's not like sewing or cooking or singing in a choir. You are displaying yourself to the public, and it can feel pretty vulnerable. I mean, look at some of the stuff I wrote last summer. I'm beginning to wonder if - in retrospect - I want all that out there. But I can't take it back. I'm anonymous locally, but it's going to get complicated when I'm in the UK this summer. Not many of my friends read my blog, but a few do, and they will know more about me than I would have felt comfortable with telling them face to face. Not quite sure what to do with that.

I'm taking a week off blogging, and seeing if that helps.

Wendy Mallins

Hmmm, my blog has only been here since December and already I must admit I've worried over what I put on, don't put on, want to put on etc.. Somedays I like blogging & must say a lot of the people who comment seem genuinely nice but on the otherhand you really don;t ever know who they are.. but the same could be said about Twitter - I tweet with lots of seemingly lovely people... but who are they really? Are they people I would want to really share the ins and out of my life with??? And of all my followers I probably have regular tweetage with about 20% of them so the others? do they just watch/read? And yes I worry that I say to much both on my blog & twitter and it does leave you a great big open target.. but on the otherhand I like to write things down that pop into my head...

I don't think there is any easy answer - perhaps take a break & see how you feel?

Baking Mad Mama

I also sometimes wonder why I am doing it (I am a somewhat sporadic poster, and also don't have many regular readers) but I've come to realise that I love it, and I find it very cathartic to write down what I've been up to, especially when I'm facing parenting problems. The support I've received through comments has been amazing which makes me want to carry on too.

I hope whatever decision you come to makes you happy!

Lottie

It's odd but I blogged for over two years my most horrendous and personal experiences with illness and never once felt uncomfortable about it. I had a good number of regulars but we all had the same illness in common. Since starting my latest blog I have felt much more exposed despite my very mundane topics in comparison. I think it is the whole Mummy Blogging thing. I never knew it existed before I started this blog but now I have found it I can imagine it is only a matter of time before I fall into that slightly competitive trap that Mums find hard to avoid. I am enjoying it but I do make a point of only writing about stuff I am happy for the world to hear/see. It is hard not to feel judged by it though.

I agree with the others, a break is as good as a holiday and when you come back you feel less pressured and happier.

Deer baby

I've just been going through the same thing, Rosie. I wasn't sure what I was doing it for. I love, love writing but I do it in other ways (diaries, short stories, a half finished novel). So I had to ask myself what is it? Validation? Nice comments? I do tend to reveal all and have had to rein in. I found taking a little break helped. It is odd when you start thinking about it this blogging lark.

Surprise Mum

I have this debate all the time. With all the hoo hah last year and the pressure of tables - I live in fear of falling off the Tots 100, yet I do nothing about it.

Indeed lately I have been doing cross stitch or crochet rather than wriet posts. Actually I write posts in my head and often can't be bothered to publish it.

In fact I have a similar post to yours in my head!

You would be missed, but in the end blogging should be enjoyable not a chore or a burden.

Forever Learning

I've only recently found your blog, and enjoy reading it very much. Thank you so much for it.

However, it is important that you decide what is best for you and IJ, and go with that.

I hope you soon feel better Rosie. Take Care.

Working Mum

English Mum - didn't know you had a troll! I've had the odd nasty comment, but I just think they are sad people who don't have anything better to do on a Saturday night. As my mum says "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". We love your blog!

Working Mum

Rosie - hope you can work through this and find some perspective. It would be a shame if you deleted your blog. Maybe take a break for a bit. Read some of your old posts and see if it helps; that's what I do.

diney

I often pop over to read your blog and enjoy it very much. It have been feeling the same recently, even though I'm a relative newbie, but I have to be so circumspect over my material as some of my family and also some friends are now readers, and some of my son's friends also pop over and read, so I really do have to be careful. Also I find I get stressed if I don't have a chance to read the blogs I follow, and my life is passing me by too quickly with no work (as in paid work) getting done! The bottom line is we should only blog if we really love it and it isn't causing unnecessary stress, for that is not the purpose. I do find it compulsive, like an addiction, and that worries me. Anyway I do hope you work out the best way forward for you and for your well being. Taking a break is a great idea. Good luck.

Heather

oh honey, i'm so sorry you are feeling this way and you would be missed if you went but you have to do what you feel is best, if it's making you stressed and sick then really, is there any point to it? your health and happiness are much more important than a blog - really. Do what is right for you.

I hope you feel better soon x

If I Could Escape

Sorry you are feeling this way. I write because I love it and nothing more. Well, maybe a bit more like I'm looking to get my not yet finished novel published and polish some skills for heading back to uni to get my teaching certification in secondary english, but I digress.

Quite frankly, I am so turned off by blogs that only do reviews or those God awful contrived twitter conversations about products. Puleeze -- like I'm going to follow that!

Although, not quite the same predicament as you, I do have people in my life who are overly critical and judgmental. This was made evident to me at my kids' birthday party a couple of years ago when someone who I held in the highest regard starting quoting and mumbling under their breath with his wife things I had written on my blog. When I confronted him on it, he said no they didn't read it and couldn't care less. Hmmm, well, the damage was already done and it did put my guard up for a while, but then I got over it. Have at it is my response these days.

Anyway, hope you feel better soon.

Magic Mummy

I've only just found your blog and I love it but in the end if you don't enjoy it then there's no point to it.... I love writing my blog at the minute but if I get to the stage where it's not fun anymore then I will stop.

I hope you feel better soon x x

Nickie @ Typecast

For me, blogging is a way of ordering my thoughts as I am very much a "foot in mouth" gal in Real Life - I also tend to take things very personally in Real Life whereas with the written/typed word, I can mull it over, consider the different meanings and try out different writing styles. There are some days I feel inspired, some days I see blog posts from other people that I had "lined up" for later in the week and other days where I really can't be arsed.

I hope you don't give up but you have to be comfortable doing this and you have to enjoy it. Once it becomes a chore then what is the point?

Barbara

I would be sorry to see you go but you've got to enjoy it or it's no good.

I'm about 3 days behind as usual and you've probably blogged your decision so I'm not going to say anything else!

Kelly

I love to blog and I am lucky that in the five plus years I have been doing it I haven't had any criticism or bad comments. The more people that read the more likely that is so I think I will be happy for a while yet!

I need this as an outlet, if I didn't have it my life would be worse not better. That is not the case for everyone and you need to do what feels right for you.

I'd miss you if you were gone though :)

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