Granny is worried.
At the weekend she was amused and yet horrified to read in the Sunday papers that ten-year-old Zoe Pemberton had put her gran up for sale on the auction site, ebay.
Apparently the reason for Zoe taking her Gran's photo and putting her on ebay with no reserve price was summed up in the description she provided, "Annoying and moans a lot."
The auction was stopped after just three days (because ebay states they do not allow the listing of any human being on the site) but by then bids for Granny Goodhall had reached £20,000.
Now, as we sat listening to Gran relay this story to us in the dining room, IJ's eyes suddenly lit up. And as if she had just found the solution to all our problems,
"Mummy!" she said with huge excitement, "we could buy a car with that!"
"Good point, IJ," I said.
And indeed it is a very good point.
As Granny would object hugely to a photo of her on the Internet, this is the best I can do:
Item number: 001
Description: Kind and generous with a tendency to nag. Occasionally hard work.
Minimum bid: £13,715 (We want a Mini Cooper).
Cat not included.
I'll start the bidding... 50p
Posted by: Tim | October 06, 2009 at 10:16 AM
Thank you, Tim! Granny will be delighted!
Posted by: Rosie Scribble | October 06, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Snort, I'll go 55p :D
Posted by: Jo Beaufoix | October 06, 2009 at 12:19 PM
Too kind, Jo, but realistically that's not going to buy me a car air freshner.
Posted by: Rosie Scribble | October 06, 2009 at 12:39 PM
OK - if she comes with the ability to knit and there is no shipping charge, I will up the bid to a full euro (or whatever the sterling equivalent is).
Posted by: Hot Cross Mum | October 06, 2009 at 01:00 PM
No knitting ability I'm afraid, Hot Cross Mum.
Posted by: Rosie Scribble | October 06, 2009 at 01:05 PM
For that price, I think you should throw in the cat.
Posted by: Iota | October 06, 2009 at 08:02 PM
Iota, the cat is hugely expensive and would make Granny far too expensive and beyond the reach of most bidders, regretfully.
Posted by: Rosie Scribble | October 06, 2009 at 10:33 PM
We really need grandparents. Am seriously considering this. Does she eat a lot?
Posted by: dadwhowrites | October 06, 2009 at 10:38 PM
Can she bake? If so I'll bid £1.33.
:)
Posted by: Insomniac Mummy | October 07, 2009 at 07:56 PM
I'll give you my damn car if she'll come over a do my person-sized ironing pile once a week . . .
Posted by: Tara@Sticky Fingers | October 07, 2009 at 11:20 PM
Dad who writes and Insomniac Mummy, many thanks for expressing an interest. However the vote winner is Tara@Sticky Fingers. Granny is on her way to her in return for her car.
Tara, maybe I should have checked what type of car you drove before I shipped Granny over. Beggers can't be choosers, I suppose. She'll arrive First Class Royal Mail (which means in the current climate she'll be transet for about a week!)
Posted by: Rosie Scribble | October 08, 2009 at 04:04 PM