There’s something quite therapeutic about de-cluttering and selecting those items that were once much loved but are now no longer needed.
We’re downsizing which has meant a weekend of going through boxes of toys and games and deciding which can be put into charity bags and which are long past their sell-by date.
Except there’s a very obvious change from the last time I de-cluttered our house.
One of the worst things about suffering from an eating disorder is that your life is effectively on hold. So while you’re focusing on food and thinness, the rest of the world is getting on with their lives. Growing up, moving on, living. Or so it seems.
One of the best things about recovering from an eating disorder is that you can pick your life up again and start to enjoy all the things you missed out on before. Overseas travel, weekends away, conferences, friendships and so much more, there are opportunities there for the taking.
The problem is you can’t pick your life up from where you left off. Time has moved on even you haven’t really being living it.
Those years are lost and there is no way of filling them now. If only there were.
So it’s all very well planning a career path, learning to drive and choosing a new place to live.
Except I’m not 17 anymore. I’m 37.
Nearly 40.
And it feels as if I’m in a race to do everything, experience everything and make up for lost time.
It’s exciting, invigorating and there’s so much I want to do and achieve.
Yet it’s also a little sad, and it’s exhausting trying not to dwell on all those lost years, and to carry on moving forward and looking to the future.
But only some days.
Like today.
Photo credit: bjearwicke
