This morning I feel heartbroken.
Today IJ is having her official school photograph taken. Usually it would not bother her but over the last few months, life seems to have been getting her down.
Despite my constant efforts to reassure her and comfort her and to encourage her to talk about how she is feeling, she still worries almost constantly, about life, about death, and about the little things that shouldn't worry her - like having her haircut, like not being quite as good at maths at her friends, like being away from Mummy for a few hours.
She is going into school anxious every morning and I am wondering if she is actually depressed, yet she is only six-years-old.
This morning she did seem brighter and more upbeat, I even commented that it was nice to see her smiling. Maybe I jinxed it because it didn't last long. The mention of the school photograph sent her spiralling down again.
With tears in her eyes and a desperately sad look on her face, she said, "Mummy, I don't want to have my photograph taken. I cannot smile because I am sad."
And suddenly I felt my world crumble around me.
