Firstly I must quickly point out that IJ is absolutely fine. This post may imply that she is not.
She is, however, going through a difficult life stage where she seems to be questioning the world, her place in it, what growing up means, whether she actually has to grow up and whether I will always be there to support her.
And now we have reached the topic of death.
It is clear that she is going through a stage of intense insecurity and anxiety, evident in the fact that she has started taking her toy monkey to school with her to act as a comforter. Usually he only appears at bedtime. She is also finding it difficult to settle at night and seems to have regressed to being a baby so that she gets constance cuddles and reassurance.
This stage will pass and I am supporting her through it, but at the moment I am slightly stuck.
At school her teacher has been talking to the class about the recent tragic events in Haiti. The lesson will have been appropriately pitched, I have no doubt about that. The problem is that IJ seems to be more sensitive than most and is emotionally young for her age. She is also the youngest in her class.
I am certain that Haiti (and previously discussions in class about the soldiers killed in Afghanistan) has lead to her suddenly asking me at nine o'clock at night, while sobbing hysterically:
"Mummy, am I going to die one day?"
And I will admit, I have absolutely no idea how to discuss the topic of death with a six-year-old.
I had similar fears around the age of nine but never mentioned them to my parents. I am extremely relieved that IJ feels secure enough with me to tell me her deepest and darkest fears, but I just don't know what to say to her about death, possibly because no-one had that conversation with me.
I tried to explain that people die when they get very very old, but that made matters worse.
Although I'm not particularly religious, I tried explaining the concept of Heaven to see it that would calm her. It just confused her even more.
There must be books, articles, websites and other sources out there that can help tackle the difficult task of talking to a child about death.
But I just don't know where to start looking.
Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am sure I am not the only one trying to tackle difficult issues with their child(ren).
