Rosie Scribble

Are we nearly there yet?

Today we are off to Center Parcs, Sherwood Forest, for a week's holiday - a total distance of 9 miles, total journey time: 15 minutes! Not bad, eh?

IJ has been excited for weeks, and I have to admit I'm really excited too. We are going with my brother and his family and they are all great fun. I plan to encourage them to babysit every so often so I can sneak off and have some time to myself. I also plan to eat lots, drink the full range of coffee available in Starbucks, hire a bike and try out the new Wii Lounge (in that order!)

And, believe it or not, there really are some pros to holidaying so close to home:

We won't bump into people we know as no-one we know would be daft enough to live in Nottinghamshire and holiday there
The weather forecast is easy to predict
Minimum journey time / no jet-lag
The currency is no more confusing than usual
No confusing language barrier - a beer is a beer

Finally, when IJ says, half a mile up the road, "Are we nearly there yet?" I can reply, with complete honesty,"Yes, we are!"

Sweet dreams?

IJ is growing up fast. We can go longer have the sweet, innocent, childish conversations we used to have. Take this morning, for example.

IJ: Mummy, I had a really happy dream.

Me: Ah, did you? What was it about?

IJ: A beautiful lady with a beautiful dress and beautiful yellow hair.

Me: Was it Sleeping Beauty?

IJ: No, don't be silly.

Me: Snow White?

IJ: She has brown hair.

Duh!

Me: Who then?

IJ: Lady Gaga.

Oh my word! What next?

Dead weird

Most of the time Sometimes, I am completely at a loss as to how the mind of a five-year-old child works. Today is no exception. Take, for example, the following exchange between me and IJ this afternoon:

I was sitting on the sofa, doing nothing, with my eyes closed, head resting on a cushion, enjoying a few minutes peace and quiet. IJ suddenly appeared, she'd been upstairs looking for Peppa Pig's spaceship.

She said, without a trace of concern or alarm in her voice, "Mummy, have you died?"

Now there's a question.

"No, I haven't died." I reassured her.

"Oh." She said, arranging her Peppa Pigs on the floor without a care in the world. "I thought you had."

Bizarre. Not the thought of exchange I thought I'd be having with my child.

Not the sort of exchange I thought I'd be having with anyone, in fact!

Babies and biology

Okay. So we have had the talk. And everything is fine. I hadn't planned on discussing babies 'and stuff' with IJ until she asked me about it. But then I walked right into it when I told her she could ask me anything, she could tell me anything, and anything she didn't know, she could ask me.

And then came the words, "There is one thing I don't know." I smiled warmly at her as I slowly began to panic, "I don't know how babies get in tummies."

Panic!

So we had a chat and it went very well. This time I didn't offer her chocolate chip cookies, instead I talked to her about eggs and seeds and she listened with interest and not alarm. And I explained that it takes two people to make a baby.

"Let's make a baby now!" She announced with excitement. "There are two of us here!"

No! I'm getting this wrong!

So then I explained you needed a man and a lady - a mummy and a daddy. And she seemed satisfied with that.

"Does it make a big hole when the baby comes out?" She then asked. And I explained it didn't.

And that was how I left it. She is walking round looking all knowledgeable and worldly wise, and I think, a little relieved, as am I.

She seems to think the babies travel down your leg and come out of your foot, but there's time to correct that assumption later. Much, much later I hope.

Thanks for all your comments on my last post. I would recommend 'Mummy Laid an Egg'. I didn't actually show IJ the book, at five she is still too young for some of its content, especially the page which shows how mummies and daddies 'fit together', even myself and Jo were a little unsure about that at first. But it'll be a great book for her in a couple of years' time.

The other book, 'Hair in Funny Places' was also good, very insightful and tastefully done. It is aimed at children aged 6+ but I feel they are pitching that way too low - I'd probably show it to IJ when she nearer 10. Worth buying it though, made the thought of these future conversations a lot less scary.

Single mums united

Today myself and Jo Beaufoix are having 'The Talk'.

You know the one I mean.

The 'Where do babies come from talk."

Jo has invited me round. We are going to have the talk, with each other.

I am nervous. I'm not sure what to expect.

Jo and I both know where babies come from, of course. Jo has Miss E and Miss M, I have IJ. So we have worked it out.

But the time has come to think about how we are going to explain the facts of life, and other stuff, to our children. So we are pairing up to discuss the matter in advance of any big conversations.

We are single mums united.

It's going to be interesting. Jo has books. 

I may learn something.

Jo may learn something.

Like I said, I am nervous!